


Day 350

by Josh_the_Bard



Series: A Year in Kirkwall [350]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:00:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28119570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Josh_the_Bard/pseuds/Josh_the_Bard
Series: A Year in Kirkwall [350]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1589257
Kudos: 1





	Day 350

Varric jolted awake when someone threw a pail of water in his face. His instincts had him reaching for Bianca before he was fully aware what was happening. Just as his hands closed around her grip, the pail followed the water, striking him painfully in the side.

“Who-” he sputtered, but before he could finish his question a tomato struck him in the face.

“You lousy, good-for-nothing hooligans!” an elven woman screeched. “You ruined my garden, put holes in my roof, and smashed bottles on my walls.”

Varric was in the back alley in the Alienage where he had apparently slept away the night. There was a mound of garbage next to him and a very angry elven woman with an armload of mushed tomatoes.

“Philomela, what are you on about?” Merrill asked, only to get a tomato in her own face.

“Vandals, hooligans, nerr-do-wells!”

The garbage pile next to Varric moved and groaned. Philomela yelped in surprise and pelted it with tomatoes. The garbage fell away and Hawke appeared out of the pile, bleary-eyed and smelling worse than he had when they emerged from the Deep Roads.

“You!” Philomela shouted. “Champion my ass. You’re nothing but a street thug with a title!”

Hawke scooped Varric up and carried him out of the alley, taking a barrage of tomatoes on his back. Noll and Anders stumbled out of the places they had been sleeping and they all followed Merrill into her home. Anders looked particularly ill and his coat had lost most of its feathers sometime the night before. They took turns bathing the stench of the night before off, everyone agreed to let Hakee go first. When they were awake enough they realized there was a notable member of their group not present.

“Where did Tomwise go?” Merrill asked.

“He probably just ended up in a different alley,” Varric said. They searched the Alianage to no avail, then they started looking though closer to the Hanged Man.

“Does it make it a good bachelor party or a terrible one if they wake up and don’t remember where we left the groom to be?” Anders asked. 

“Feja is going to kill us,” Varric groaned.

“Maybe he’s still in the Hanged Man,” Noll offered. As no one had any better ideas they went to check.

“I need a drink anyway,” Anders added. “I haven’t had such a bad taste in my mouth since… we’ll in a long time.”

All the furniture in the main floor had been overturned and half of it was smashed. There were also feathers strewn about. Anders picked one up and held it to his coat.

“How did I lose my feathers?” he wondered. He started collecting his fallen adornments which alerted Corff the bartender to their presence.

“You owe me at least ten sovereigns in damages dwarf!” Corff shouted.

“What did I do?” Varric asked indignantly.

“Personally? Nothing. But all these people are on your tab so...” Corff glared at Merrill. She and Noll were investigating the area for clues.

“Are these… nug footprints?” Noll wondered aloud.

“Oh that’s right!” Merrill exclaimed. “We had a race in here. But why do I remember griffins?”

“That’s what happened to my coat,” Anders grumbled. “You stole them and glued them to the nugs before the race.”

“And then they trashed the place so I threw you out,” Corff added. Varric nodded and deposited the sovereigns on the bar. They left the Hanged Man and tried to retrace their steps.

“You tried to challenge the human Coterie members to a building climbing contest,” Hawke said, looking at Noll. “They nearly died falling off the roofs. I burned through all my mana healing them.”

“I don’t know why you bothered,” Noll said. “Blasted Coterie will just come back and cause trouble later.”

“I think this is where they landed,” Merrill said wandering down an alley. “There is a lot of blood here, it can’t be more than a few hours old.” She wandered a bit deeper. “This looks like blood but it isn’t really.”

They all gathered around the dark red stain on the ground. Varris leaned down and gave it a good sniff.

“This is wine,” he said. “Good quality too. I don’t know anyone but us in Lowtown could have afforded it.”

“You bought it for Tomwise after Anders stole his drink,” Hawke remembered. “You must really like peaches.”

“That wasn’t it,” Anders said. He scrunched up his face in concentration. “It was poisoned! Someone put Darkspawn blood in his drink. I drank it to make sure no one else did.”

“Are you sure Blondi?” Varric asked.

“It’s not a taste you forget. Wait, there’s a tainted creature here somewhere!”

They followed and Anders ran off back out of the alley. He didn’t go far. There was a dwarf shopping at one of the Lowtown stalls. One of the Carta who had been at the party last night. Vodhorn or something.

“Where is Tomwise,” Anders demanded.

“Dead,” Vodhorn said with a wicked grin. He looked pale and sickly. He apparently thought his position in the Carta would protect him from retribution; arrogant fool. “We knifed him in the alley and watched him bleed to death. If you want his body I can't help you. A few hours later it got up and walked away.”

“Any you didn’t stop him?” Hawke asked.

“He lost more blood then anyone can and live,” Vodhorn said. “I’m not messing with no walking corpses. If the templars want to, that's their business.”

They dragged Vodhorn back to the winestain in the alley.

“It this where you knifed Tomwise?” Varric asked. Vodhorn nodded.

“What kind of dimwit assassin can’t tell the difference between blood and wine,” Noll laughed. “Tomwise probably woke up and wend home.”

“That doesn't explain why this dwarf tried to poison him with Darkspawn blood,” Anders said. “Or why you smell like the Blight.”

“Er...” Vodhoen said nervously. “We had a Darkspawn break through some of the tunnels we use for lyrium smuggling, I swallowed some blood in the fight. Rhatigan wanted the elf dead so Feja wouldn’t have split loyalties.”

“Well we can’t let you out and about to spread the taint across the city,” Anders said. “If you hadn't just tried to kill my friend I might feel bad about this.”

Before any of them could react, Anders burned the dwarf to a pile of ash. Poor Vadhorn didn’t even get a scream out.

“Well that’s that I guess,” Varric said. “We better go make sure Tomwise made it home alright.”


End file.
